American comics: Today’s big news Chapter 010

After Batman finished his day’s work, he returned home to a steaming hot meal.

But after the Joker finished a day of crime, he still had to buy groceries and cook at home.

This was originally a meme circulating on Earth, and Connors never expected it to come true today.

Only, it wasn’t the Joker walking beside Harley Quinn, but him.

The Gossip System had never given him any physical enhancement rewards so far, which led to a problem:

He was almost exhausted to death.

Before the physical enhancement rewards came, he had to revitalize himself through dietary supplements.

Otherwise, looking at Harley Quinn, who had been muttering “rewards” all afternoon, Connors doubted if he could survive tonight.

Fortunately, as a Celestial Empire native, Connors was an expert in the “eat what you want to supplement” department. He personally bought a pile of food and managed to prepare a large meal in Gotham City, which was full of Western restaurants.

Tonight’s feast ended with Harley Quinn’s favorite Kung Pao Chicken. The girl fell asleep as soon as she lay down, while Connors wrapped his pajamas around his waist and stood by the window, smoking a post-coital cigarette.

—Then, he saw Batman seemingly passing by again, and they stared at each other through the window glass.

It wasn’t raining in Gotham today, so with the moon out, Connors could even see the Caped Crusader hidden in the darkness with his naked eye.

Master Wayne wouldn’t possibly like men, would he?

Connors was glad he wasn’t smoking a post-coital cigarette naked today, otherwise, if it happened a third time, he would really start to doubt Batman’s motives.

At this moment, Batman outside the window was also having a massive headache.

He had just caught the Joker and the Riddler during the day, then used Wayne Enterprises’ industrial machinery to accelerate the construction of Arkham Asylum, and incidentally patrolled Gotham City at night.

Passing by the street where Connors lived, he thought of sneaking in to install a tracker, but who knew the other party was also a night owl, and even stood by the window smoking a post-coital cigarette every day.

Batman couldn’t possibly knock on the window glass and hand over the tracker to him:

“Here, with this, I’ll know your movements at all times.”

Contacting Poison Ivy was urgent. He had to fully grasp this guy’s information before he became a threat… Batman took a deep look at Connors, spread his cape, and flew into the night.

[Today’s Gossip: The Batman Who Laughs Incident (Ongoing) – Batman Captures the Joker]

[Gossip Reward: Locksmith Grandmaster]

“……”

The physical enhancement reward Connors had hoped for did not appear. The four words “Locksmith Grandmaster” appeared, immediately plunging him into silence.

“There is no lock in the world that I cannot open…”

Is this the legendary “every profession produces its top talent”? Connors couldn’t help but want to scratch his head.

But soon, he recovered from his dejection.

With this ability, no matter where he was locked up, whether it was Arkham Asylum or Gotham City Police Department, he could use any available tools to escape and would no longer fear being imprisoned.

Understanding this, Connors casually tore off a piece of paper, then walked out of the bedroom and locked it.

He wanted to test this ability.

After folding the toilet paper several times, he inserted it into the keyhole, and then heard a “click.” The metal lock core was opened by a soft piece of toilet paper.

Even though he successfully did it and had the corresponding knowledge in his mind, Connors still found it a bit absurd.

“Locksmith Grandmaster” lived up to its name. Theoretically, as long as the lock wasn’t super complex, he could open it even with a few strands of hair.

Back in bed, Connors, somewhat excited, used “Green of All Things” to control the cactus in his neighbor’s neighbor’s house, and it took him a long time to calm down before falling into a deep sleep.

The next morning, Connors was awakened by a piercing scream.

The scream came from next door’s next door. The unfortunate male owner of that household woke up to find the Batman-shaped cactus had grown into the Joker again, scaring him into a sharp shriek.

Harley Quinn woke up even earlier than Connors.

Harley Quinn: oio (verb)

Connors: Lethal Tempo… Calm Mind.

After a while.

Amidst the sound of police sirens (next door’s next door called the police again), Connors led Harley Quinn downstairs. He planned to find the Joker today, whether it was for cooperation or other means, he must end “The Batman Who Laughs” incident today.

He wanted to upgrade the Gossip System’s reward to Lv 2 as soon as possible and receive the physical enhancement rewards sooner.

However, plans changed. When he saw newsboys selling concert tickets on the streets of Gotham, with a long line of people in front of him, Connors knew he couldn’t escape.

—Harley Quinn snatched two tickets from the newsboy at lightning speed and excitedly showed them to Connors.

The reason she was so fast was that she neither queued nor paid.

Connors saw the newsboy’s tearful expression and quickly stuffed two large denomination banknotes into his hand, saying, “Keep the change.”

“When the concert starts, I’ll quietly slip away. If there’s no new movement in Gotham City, it means the Joker’s subsequent plans haven’t unfolded yet, and I’ll come back to accompany Harley. Otherwise, I’ll let her stay here by herself.”

Connors made up his mind. This morning, Harley Quinn… made him realize that physical enhancement could not be delayed.

The concert was held in Gotham City’s enclosed stadium. With only stage lights, the surroundings were in a colorful black.

The singer on stage had top-notch looks and figure, and her voice was like a heavenly melody, but Connors’s heart wasn’t in it.

Just as he was about to slip away while Harley Quinn was completely engrossed, his spider-sense turned into a magnet again.

So, the innocent passerby sitting next to him was hoisted into the air by suddenly appearing webs and thrown to the outermost edge of the audience seats. The empty seat was then occupied by “Silk” Cindy Moon, wearing a red, white, and black tight-fitting battle suit.

Because of Cindy’s swift movements, others didn’t notice anything unusual next to Connors, but Harley Quinn did.

The two women exchanged glances, then simultaneously grabbed one of Connors’s arms and pulled him into their embrace. When they found they couldn’t pull him, they both leaned closer.

[Today’s Gossip: Bigger or Bouncier]

[Submit?]

Connors couldn’t help but start worrying about himself…

…

Batman, Bruce Wayne, looked at the information about the singer “Xue Xi” on the screen and couldn’t help but get a headache.

“Her public identity is a global touring singer, and her true identity is a superhero with the title ‘Ice Moon Flower Snow’… I hope she’s really just here for a concert and not to cause trouble for me.”

His gaze shifted to another screen, which displayed recently collected intelligence:

Scarecrow was driving a tanker truck through the streets of Gotham. According to analysis, his destination was none other than “Ice Moon Flower Snow” Xue Xi’s concert venue.

Nearly ten thousand people were gathered there now. If Scarecrow were allowed to drive a tanker filled with unknown substances into it, the consequences would be unimaginable.

The best-case scenario would be that it contained sewage, but since Scarecrow was driving, the situation certainly wouldn’t be good. It might even be a full tank of “Fear Toxin.”