Hogwarts Card System Chapter 199

Chapter 199: Longbottom’s Pressure Grandma

There are also cooking recipes to share – Pig Blood Curry Pineapple Pudding Pizza!

“How Does One Dish Offend Several Countries?”

This dish was strongly dissed by many wizards, who demanded it be blocked!

They claimed that even if Great Britain ate mashed potatoes every day, it could not suffer such an insult!

Another Italian wizard, a tourist, claimed it was an insult to Italy’s national dignity and intended to send a diplomatic inquiry to the British Ministry of Magic. They demanded that the person who invented the recipe apologize to pizza!

But Ted didn’t care at all. This dish was very controversial, wasn’t it? High traffic was all that mattered!

Besides, it was provided by an Indian-British environmental wizard who was biologically male and psychologically female, making them immune to all laws!

And they were one of their own! In a few years, their Prime Minister would be from India.

The true British orthodoxy lies in India~

There were also travel anecdotes shared – certain red-light districts in Spain had Veelas…

Ted blocked half of this information, specifically the address! This led to nearly a hundred anonymous comments in just a few days.

Ted: Let them communicate privately. Don’t send yourselves to Azkaban!

I solemnly declare that I did not participate in the group discussion, and all consequences shall be borne by the poster!

Some people were chatting lively while drinking beer:

“Semir, guess what I saw in America this time?”

“What did you see?”

“Aurors and Scourers of the American Ministry of Magic fighting! Goodness, they just started fighting in the streets of Muggles—oh, they call them No-Majs!”

“Ah! Not avoiding people at all?”

“Right in front of the No-Majs! It’s said that among the Squib descendants of the Scourers, some people appeared who could use special abilities! They could use certain specific spells without wands, and it caused a huge commotion between the two sides!”

Similar news from all corners of the world continuously converged, recorded by the spirit crystal servant Puck, disguised as a decorative item embedded in the wall.

Now, Muggles’ information exchange was very developed; after all, it was 1992, and in a few years, Windows 95 would be on the market.

But communication in the wizarding world was very closed off and slow. News from abroad wouldn’t arrive for at least a week, and even then, only a limited number of people would know.

Ordinary wizards only read the Daily Prophet and subscribed to some entertainment magazines.

If the higher-ups didn’t say anything, most wizards would remain in the dark.

In fact, many strange things were happening within Great Britain.

However, the Ministry of Magic, in conjunction with the Muggle Queen, had been actively dealing with and suppressing the news.

Like certain unknown strange entities breaking into local black markets and fighting black wizards.

Unknown magical creatures appearing in Muggle mines, causing mining operations to cease. Muggles couldn’t handle it and had to contact the Ministry of Magic for assistance.

Muggles being mysteriously murdered in locked-room cases with no clues whatsoever.

Some antiques collected by Muggles suddenly gaining magical effects, causing quite a stir.

Although the Ministry of Magic appeared calm on the surface, it was actually swamped.

However, Minister of Magic Fudge had somehow acquired a contract magic, placing a gag order on Ministry of Magic employees. If they accidentally mentioned anything, their tongues would hurt, and it would be recorded at headquarters.

This was how it had been kept secret until now.

…

Last year, the Idle Fish Network enthusiasts were mostly idle, bored street-loafing wizards. They had nothing to do all day, brought their own small stools, sat for the whole day, drank tea, cracked melon seeds, and occasionally cheered and applauded.

It was a way to pass the boring time.

But now, the user base of the Idle Fish Home had increased, and its composition had become much healthier.

Witches accounted for one-quarter to one-third of the total customer base.

They often sat together, discussing the “Witch Section” that Ted had specially created for them.

After all, wasn’t it said that women’s spending power was greater than children’s, greater than the elderly’s, greater than dogs’, greater than…

Female customers naturally could not be ignored.

Things like knitting technique exchanges~

These were all books Ted found from Muggles, then put on a fake identity and posted.

After all, Muggles had such a large population, they could create a ton in minutes.

A complete guide to household magic~

Many spells were small and practical, and Ted had never even heard of them. It was quite an eye-opener.

This wizarding world was not very active after all; many wizards invented spells that only they and their families knew and used. Who knows how many spells were lost because of this.

How to prepare five days’ worth of ingredients and recipes on Monday~

Pre-made meals! Ted copied the recipes from Muggles.

Hmm, the Muggle world is a treasure! Wizards need to slowly realize this.

How to effectively remove magical pests from your home~

“Lockhart Teaches You How to Remove Household Pests.” Let’s promote the poor teacher.

He’ll be living in St. Mungo’s Hospital from now on, which is a considerable expense~

After all, his other books were taken off the shelves due to English-to-English translation issues.

And children’s education issues~

Hit them! If a child doesn’t eat, a good beating will fix it!

If a child doesn’t study, a good beating will fix it!

If a child doesn’t listen, a good beating will fix it!

If one beating isn’t enough, then two beatings!

If the Stinging Hex doesn’t work, use the Transfiguration Torture Hex. As long as you don’t use the Cruciatus Curse, it’s not illegal~

Ted could even see wizards coming to Idle Fish Home as a family unit – they’d arrive early in the morning, dressed neatly, first buy house-elf delicacies for breakfast, then check out the appraisal guessing game (betting on equipment, everyone’s played that, right?) and second-hand goods listings (auction house recommended), then browse the forums and chat with friends.

Then they’d eat lunch at Idle Fish Home, disperse for some shopping after the meal, and finally gather to go home, enjoying a wonderful Saturday.

Many initially came with their parents, brought by Ted’s classmates to support him, but after one visit, they got hooked.

Where else could you find a place where you could eat, drink, chat, and gossip on forums?

If they could just find a bard to sing a few songs, it would be perfect!

Now, Idle Fish Home was starting to move in the direction of a comprehensive forum.

…

Watching the user count reach over 240 in the second week after changing the model, the newly expanded storefront was no longer big enough.

Ted felt things were getting a bit out of control.

This was the British wizarding world, with a total population of only around 30, 000. And they were scattered across the country.

Even if Diagon Alley, where he was located, was the most prosperous and only commercial street, this customer flow was ridiculously high – one percent of the national customer flow every week, even Zibo barbecue couldn’t compare to this, could it?!

Never mind the income – this profit model actually didn’t have very high profits, at least not comparable to those monopolistic businesses.

But this kind of influence was not something Ted, a student, could control.

It was like a certain website on the internet; although it never made much money, its traffic and user base were enormous. This was its greatest value, and someone would always pay attention.

If this situation continued, it was hard to guarantee that someone wouldn’t see its value, and then they would naturally use cunning means to seize it. This would bring trouble!

Last year, when the Idle Fish Network was just a stall, a competitor, Borgin and Burkes, secretly caused trouble. But Ted found an opportunity to add fuel to the fire, and they quieted down.

Now that the stall was bigger and its effects and value had appeared, it was hard to say who else it would attract.

In this situation, Ted definitely had to plan ahead.

He didn’t care much about this influence, because he was on the path of power returning to himself.

Once he truly grew to his twenties or thirties, he could handle all the wizards in Great Britain with one wave of his wand~

He just simply wanted to stir things up and try to bring some change to this wizarding world.

So, why not pull in more allies and share some of the profits?

For example, the Longbottom family. Neville’s pressure grandma had invited him to their home before, so he might as well go.

Ted didn’t expect that his visit would be met with such a grand reception!

How grand?

The gates of Longbottom Manor opened, and Neville’s grandmother and great-uncle, dressed in their finest, greeted him at the entrance – his grandmother wasn’t wearing that eagle helmet, ah, no, that hat!

This display left Ted bewildered.

I didn’t state my intentions, did I?

Besides, even if I did, it wouldn’t warrant this level, would it?

You’re making me a little scared!

But the pressure grandma didn’t put any pressure on Ted at all; instead, she was very amiable. She spoke without beating around the bush, directly dispelling Ted’s concerns.

“Ted, please allow me to call you that. I want to thank you for looking after Neville…”

Pressure grandma had always been very worried about Neville.

Because Neville’s great-uncle had no children, Neville was the only heir to the Longbottom family now.

The problem was, this heir was also the Boy Who Lived.

Although pressure grandma had always put pressure on Neville, for all these years, the one under the most pressure was actually herself.

She had always worried that she wouldn’t last for many more years, and if she were to pass away, Neville would likely suffer the malice of the entire wizarding world…

At that time, Neville would probably only be able to rely on Dumbledore.

(End of this chapter)