Hogwarts Card System Chapter 018

Released on May 30, 2025

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At the end of the long tables in the Great Hall, which were filled with students, there was an empty space where a high-backed chair and a very old, tattered, and wrinkled wizard’s pointed hat were placed.

Further down the Great Hall, the professors’ dining table was arranged in a semicircle, with Dumbledore, in a white robe with a white beard, in the center.

Even sitting, he was much taller than others, and his white beard fell all the way below the table, very long. He looked very old, but in good spirits.

Ted glanced around. Professor Snape, with greasy hair and a gloomy face even on such a happy day, was there. Flitwick, the goblin-human hybrid who sat on a specially heightened stool, was also there… And Quirrell, whose head was wrapped like an Indian, was also present.

Good, good, at least the main plot for the first year hadn’t changed.

If Quirrell was missing, or didn’t have his head wrapped, Ted would truly be clueless about the course of events.

If he couldn’t find his bearings right from the start, that would truly be a hellish beginning.

Professor McGonagall held a piece of parchment and announced loudly, “Students whose names I call, please sit on the chair and put the hat on your head…”

The Sorting Hat on the high-backed stool wiggled, and its wrinkled patterns transformed into eyes and a mouth, then it began to sing:

“A thousand-year-old tale, it is told,

Of four powerful and wise wizards of old.

Brave Gryffindor, from the wild marshlands so deep,

Beautiful Ravenclaw, from the quiet lake’s sleep.

Kind Hufflepuff, from the vast valleys wide,

Shrewd Slytherin, from the muddy mire’s tide.

They vowed to impart all their knowledge and might,

Witches and wizards came from afar, making their vision bright,

Until this castle stood by the Black Lake’s light…”

The young wizards were naturally wide-eyed, seeing a singing hat for the first time.

Ted symbolically clapped his hands: “Nice song, don’t sing it next time.”

Professor McGonagall, naturally, was already tired of hearing it, and directly called out a name: “Hannah Abbott?”

“Yes.” The “Iron Hat King” responded and quickly ran up, nervously placing the Sorting Hat on her head. Her small head couldn’t support the Sorting Hat, and it even covered her eyes.

“Hufflepuff~” After about four or five seconds, the Sorting Hat loudly sorted her into Hufflepuff.

The little badgers of Hufflepuff clapped and welcomed her. She even waved to Ted, who was not far away. They had met before through her grandfather, Old Tom.

Hannah, like a fixed character in a flowing story, would naturally follow. What about Lavender Brown, Ron’s first kiss snatchers, what about Seamus, the explosion genius…

Seamus Finnigan, known as the “Explosion Genius,” not only had a knack for blowing up cauldrons but also caused the organization to be besieged by Umbridge on the first night he joined Dumbledore’s Army—an event historically known as the “Seamus Bombing Incident.”

Everyone’s sorting time varied; some were assigned as soon as they put on the hat, while others took one or two minutes to get a result.

Ted felt a slight unease, as the Sorting Hat definitely had some Legilimency ability, or the ability to discern a wizard’s character.

Although Ted, as a Mind Mage, had protected his mind well, he hadn’t been tested, so he felt uncertain.

He worried that if there was a slip-up, it could cause big trouble.

Years later, a legend would circulate: “Child, when you entered Hogwarts, the entire castle echoed with your sorting—Azkaban!”

However, there was no time for him to fantasize, because “Epiphany” started with E, so his turn was quite early.

Soon, Professor McGonagall called his name: “Ted Epiphany~”

She glanced at Ted, clearly impressed by this student. She had even mailed her old Transfiguration textbook to Ted.

Ted nodded to Professor McGonagall, put on the hat, and sat on the chair.

As a Mind Mage, he had a very deep understanding of mental issues, and he had unique coping techniques.

Generally, abilities to probe a target’s mind could only detect current emotions or thoughts. It was impossible to extract memories unless through extremely violent methods.

So Ted just needed to start recalling various books he had read before, with a crazy data flow of almost 1MB per second, finishing a book in ten seconds.

In this situation, if the Sorting Hat could still detect his emotions or thoughts, then it would be a divine artifact!

“Hmm…” The Sorting Hat hesitated: “What the hell is this noise?”

It felt a headache for the first time. Was it growing a brain?

Thirty seconds passed without any movement.

Ted decided to take the initiative to break the stalemate. He asked softly, “Is there a problem, Mr. Hat?”

“Hmm~ It’s hard to decide. There seems to be a power constantly influencing me from recognizing you…”

Concealing thoughts combined with Mental Resistance Lv 2 indeed worked. Methods like Legilimency, mind-reading, and Veritaserum would be interfered with.

Adding Ted’s “thought traffic attack” which was against “martial ethics,” ambushing this thousand-year-old hat, truly left it a bit bewildered.

After a few more tens of seconds, the Sorting Hat finally spoke.

“Shrewd, seeking power, disdain for law and authority, very suitable for Slytherin…”

Ted: “Huh?”

“Intelligent, seeking knowledge, adept at handling all problems encountered, very suitable for Ravenclaw…”

Ted: “Hmm?”

“Brave, longing for the unknown, exceptionally bold and decisive, very suitable for Gryffindor…”

Ted: “Ha?”

“Diligent, content with ordinariness, possessing a rare benevolent and inclusive heart, very suitable for Hufflepuff… What should I do?”

Ted: “Are you just guessing, you damn hat?”

Ted strongly suspected it couldn’t see clearly, which was why it said all four houses were suitable, just like fortune-telling, talking in circles!

Knowing his method worked, Ted relaxed.

He felt it was a rare opportunity and asked softly, “Excuse me, Mr. Hat, how old are you?”

“Hoho, I’m over nine hundred years old!”

“Oh! A magic that can last for a thousand years is truly magnificent.” Ted exclaimed with a look of “shock.”

“Oh ho ho ho ho, you flatter me, you flatter me, it’s not that great.” The Sorting Hat was very pleased with the flattery.

At this moment, Professor McGonagall cleared her throat a few times, and the Sorting Hat reacted: “Ahem, we must continue the sorting.”

“You wouldn’t sort me into Azkaban, would you?” Ted asked.

“Haha, you’re so humorous, I like you.” The Sorting Hat was amused.

That’s good!

Ted breathed a sigh of relief: “I think anything is acceptable as long as it’s not Slytherin.”

“Are you sure? You could achieve great things there.”

“Of course, you said I’m content with ordinariness. I never thought about achieving great things. Besides, do you think a yellow-skinned Muggle orphan wizard like me is really suitable for Slytherin?”

“Alright, since you insist—RAVENCLAW!!!” The Sorting Hat yelled at the top of its lungs!

After more than four minutes of hesitation, the Sorting Hat sorted Ted into Ravenclaw.

The young wizards below and the professors above were all getting impatient.

Professor McGonagall looked again at Ted, who had taken off the hat and bowed to it—when she was sorted, it took her five minutes to be placed in Gryffindor.

To be honest, she was a little regretful that Ted wasn’t sorted into Gryffindor. After all, she quite admired this self-reliant little fellow.

Of course, Ted felt no regret at all. After all, if he fell into Professor McGonagall’s hands, he probably wouldn’t have a good time~

Ted waved to Hermione, Harry, and the others, then sat down at the Ravenclaw table.

A group of people nodded or welcomed him.

Ron, in the crowd, whispered to Neville and Jerry, “Too bad, Ted didn’t get into Gryffindor!”

Jerry whispered back, “That doesn’t stop us from being friends, does it?”

Neville: “Right.” These five companions were his first friends, and their relationship wouldn’t be affected by being in different houses.

Hermione looked at Ted, feeling a little anxious.

After Ted settled down, he began to ponder.

Ravenclaw! Being a scholar or a magic researcher wouldn’t be bad.

“Ravenclaw” literally means “raven’s claw,” and the hidden meaning in its name is “greedy plunderer,” signifying a thirst for knowledge.

Ravenclaw’s motto: “We come from the lakeside, we are wise and learned, we love to delve into research, we are extraordinary, we are far-sighted, we are Ravenclaw.”

“We are scholars cloaked in black who see through darkness, we are ravens soaring through the sky yet never forgetting to gaze upon the earth.”

“Thanks to ancient Ravenclaw for granting me eyes that discern the world and agile minds.”

However, Ravenclaw’s presence in the original novel wasn’t very strong.

For Ravenclaw herself, perhaps the most frustrating thing was that not a single excellent student mentioned in the original novel attended her house.

The Golden Trio, McGonagall, and Dumbledore were from Gryffindor; Snape and Voldemort were from Slytherin; Grindelwald, if he had attended Hogwarts, would have 100% been sorted into Slytherin; and Cedric Diggory, the legitimate champion of the Triwizard Tournament, was a Hufflepuff.

Majorly embarrassing!

But Ravenclaw wasn’t bad at all. As the saying goes: “The more you think, the more you want to know; the more you know, the more you crave to think. Ravenclaw, be not constrained by what you seek… Uh, never mind! Never mind!”

A “ding~” sound woke Ted up.

“Mission [Magical World! (Blue)] completed. Reward: 500 experience, Magic +Lv 1, random card.”

Ted clenched his fists, resisting the urge to open the card on the spot. It would be bad if there was any unusual phenomenon.

Hold on, wait until no one is around at night.

It was hard to bear!

At this moment, Professor McGonagall called Hermione’s name.

The little girl quickly scurried over and placed the hat on her head. Hermione was sorted into…

——

Joke:

Harry stepped forward, sat on the high-backed stool, and Professor McGonagall placed the enormous Sorting Hat on his head.

“Hmm, very brave, very wise. I think you’re suited for Materials Science,” the Sorting Hat’s voice appeared in Harry’s mind.

“No biochemical and environmental materials! No biochemical and environmental materials…” Harry silently chanted in his mind.